I think my actions are a function of my disbelief, denial, despair and the fact that like most Kiwis I am totally stunned by what has happened. It is hard to own such things let alone write about such evil.
I take these cruel events very personally for a couple of reasons. First I grew up in Christchurch. It is my Turangawaiwai ( The place where I stand / belong). Christchurch has endured two large earthquakes - now this. The second reason is that our daughter in law is a Muslim. Two of our three grandchildren are Muslim. We have a small personal window through which we can observe the effects of such a holocaust.
The larger window is harder to look through, because when we look we are seeing ourselves, our society, our collective values and beliefs along with our racism, bigotry, prejudices and fears. Aspects of our world view are challenged.
I don't think this is a time for too many words or too much hand wringing. It is a time for action both personal and political. We have seen this action in an emphatic outpouring of solidarity with the Muslim community. We have heard emphatic words regarding massive changes to New Zealand gun laws.
Lets hope that the much needed personal and political action endures, develops and matures. I pray that we don't just return to type within a few months. Lets walk the talk. Proof of our words of love and solidarity is revealed when these things are incarnated into the world through our actions.