Sunday, April 5, 2020

___________________ HUMOUR IN THE TIME OF COVID ___________________

 ........ and yes I am aware that half the world spells 'Humour" differently as 'Humor' but who am I to tell them that they are spelling it incorrectly and mangling the English language - everyone to their own spelling world view I say.......... but I digress.

Brian Peet is an Auckland Zephyr yacht sailor who has been cheering up the rest of us members of the Zephyr Association Owners by emailing us all with a dose of daily humour. I thought this one was worth sharing - it ticks all the boxes of the cunning structural strategies of a good joke:

"Yesterday  I was at my local Countdown  store buying a  large bag of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was in the  checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant?  So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting  the Pedigree Diet again.  I added that I probably  shouldn’t,
because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 8 kg before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load  your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.  The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going  to try it again.  (I have to mention here that  practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. 
I'm now banned from Countdown.  Better watch what you ask retired people. 
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say."


Humour / Humor will help us get through to the other side of this.
 

2 comments:

Paul Mullings said...

Ha ha ha ha ha...

Alden Smith said...

Yes, a bit of humour / humor helps as we deal with the deadly seriousness of this situation.