Friday, March 30, 2012

There's An Ark To Being A Headless Chicken in a Bunny Suit

Today I missed the boat - well I missed the alarm clock, which is sort of like missing the boat - because missing the alarm clock meant missing breakfast, well I mean, the enjoyable bit of breakfast, the bit I can't eat while running around the house like one of those headless chickens - ever seen a chicken iron a shirt? they are hopeless, and its sexist to say ironing is for mother hens, so I won't say that. Then it was to work where I found walking nearly impossible because my knee hurts which is putting my back out because I favour the other knee. The rest of the day was absolute crap and then I got myself caught up in one of those exasperating, vexing, muddling situations that I sometimes shine in - This was probably because I was not being mindful enough, because I was rushing, fretting, worried and my mind was somewhere else.

My cell phone has been out of order for a while because the car charging gizmo's intermittent fault decided to take up full time residence - BUT I found that if I squashed the gizmo's little plug very hard I got a flicker of a charge - so my pea brain decided that it was the phone socket on the cellphone NOT on the charger that was at fault (such empirical scientific reasoning should never hold the balance of power in any scientific laboratory- ever) - so to fix it I thought, if I squash a bit of aluminium foil into the tiny socket it might make the connection work. I then went into the Vodaphone shop after work to inquire about a new phone and told them the problem - they tried to test the charger part of my phone - but of course, moi, 'dickhead' had shoved some foil up the bloody spout - so none of that worked - So, instead of impulsively buying a new cellphone I retired to sit in the mall and think through my strategy (which is a cunning description of muddle headed indecision, something of which I have an Honours Degree in) AND - while sitting in the mall, I suddenly remembered that in all this flat battery story, I actually owned not just a puckerooed car phone charger, but the main charger that plugs into the main electricity supply at home!!!!! - As I was remembering all of these facts I idly picked out the piece of foil from the phone socket and went to a different shop (to save embarrassment) where they tested the phone and established that the phone charging socket was fine which, thus, by a simple piece of logic meant that the rumpty car charger with the frayed wires, the perished outer plastic, the bad kink, the loose thingies that rattle and the very wobbly end bit, was probably at fault all along - so I bought a new car phone charger.

I then went and looked into hiring an Easter Bunny suit (oh how the spiritual symbols have changed) for our Whanau Fun Night next week - A headless chicken in a bunny suit? Lets hope no self respecting Ark ever picks me up - Some days you just deserve to bloody drown.



Kate said...

Bwahhahhahahaha! I have those days too! Do we get to see a pikky of you in the suit?

Alden Smith said...

Don't push it :>)

Ben said...

I see you had an enjoyable day. Anyway an enjoyable piece of writing.