Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Thingies - Who Bloody Well Needs Them?

Shipmates, I was here at this bridge opening, just to the left, out of the picture a smidgen. Now for my Big Moan:

This opening had all the ingredients of something memorable. The weather was beautiful, all the yachts, kayaks, dinghies, launches and Maori Waka were out in force. There was a happy, amiable, laid back crowd of people waiting in anticipation for the official opening and the grand walk over - BUT - for over 60% of the time I was there; not so very high (It's amazing you can't see it in the above photograph) was a helicopter (I am told filming the event for posterity) - not just any helicopter mind you, but a fucking great, noisy, intrusive helicopter. In my opinion this constant barrage of noise detracted from the whole historical moment - not unlike witnessing a baptism with someone near the baptismal fount playing one of those fuck wit violent rap songs from a ghetto blaster radio thingy - and speaking of thingies, why couldn't it have been filmed from one of those little drone thingies that nearly gave me a crew cut haircut yesterday (No, I absolutely kid you NOT! - it crashed into a steel lamp post and then almost onto my frigging head) when I was minding my own business on a park bench on the river bank admiring the good ship Mariner.  I turned and heard some moron shout "sorry" as he continued to control this drone and its four helicopter blades with a radio controlled thingy - I was caught off guard by this small drone (with its camera) because it was so SILENT! - which is sort of where I begrudgingly rest my case - If you must film every moment in history - do it silently and away from peoples frigging heads.

So, damn modernity's gadgetry to hell I say: Good, got that off my chest - Now, lets drive home in my car, turn on the lights, get a beer out of the fridge, turn on the TV, and ring up Fred Dagg on my cellphone and see if he can lend me that DVD - modern fangled doo dads - bugger all of that malarkey.

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