Sunday, January 3, 2010

His Fault Villa


Recently while staying in Auckland I did a number of very pleasant cycle rides. One day I took along my camera with the purpose of obtaining some shots that would make good blog posts - Well! in the Auckland suburb of Davenport where I began to keep a look out for some quirky things to photo I obtained within a couple of hundred meters about half a dozen very interesting photographs - this is one of them.

This photo begs a number of questions:
- Why was it his fault?
- Has the result of his fault been ultimately positive or negative?
- How often has this plaque been photographed?
- Does everyone comment on the plaque who knocks on the villas door?
- How many times has the plaque been a party ice breaker?
- How many times has the plaque been stolen?
- Is the owner going into commercial plaque production?
- Has he been forgiven for it being his fault? Does anyone care?
- Does the postman smile with solidarity every time he delivers the mail?
- Is the owner of the house in fact a single woman wanting to blame someone?
- Is the owner of the house in fact a single man with a persecution complex?
- Should all Kiwi males visit this house to burn incense and pray for forgiveness?
- Should all Kiwi males visit this house and laugh like fuck?

Will contemplation of these perplexing questions lead us by a set of complex logic to ask other important questions such as - Did the sky really fall on Chicken Lickens head? - How can anyone resist Fate's will? - If I hold my breath and suck my tummy in will people fail to notice I have been a pig over Christmas and put on 3 kilos?

So many questions, so little time.

.

11 comments:

teach5 said...

You have too much free time. Up here, we are trying to psyc ourselves up to go back to school Monday.

They ARE great questions though, you had me cracking up by the end.

Silver Solo said...

I enjoyed visiting your world.

Janice said...

Of course it's his fault, because:

Women's faults are many,
Men have only two:
Everything they say,
and everything they do!

(I thought everybody knew that,
where have you been, Alden?

Katherine said...

- Does the fact that you've been a pig over Christmas predispose you to notice other bulges, muffin-tops and spare tyres?
- i.e does the fact that I've also been a pig over Christmas explain why that small comment on your post is the only one I'm interested in?
- Is it good for your muscles if you use them to suck in a Christmas tummy, hence do the ends justify the means?
- Can the previous statement be used as a good reason to overeat at Christmas?
- And one for our friends in the north: How does the snow-plough operator get to work?

Alden Smith said...

Teach5, may I offer you the back to school commiserations of a early retired teacher. When one retires, one wakes, one looks at ones watch and smiles - And of course being highly evolved, would moi gloat??? NEVER!!

Alden Smith said...

Silver Solo, I am glad you enjoyed visiting my world, please come again.

Alden Smith said...

Janice, where would I be without your wisdom and wit? Of course 'everybody knows that' but don't expect 50% of them to broadcast it all over the place, we are very sensitive you know.

Alden Smith said...

Katherine - if I did take a sneaky look at others who seem to be hiding preambulators under their clothes it was only in a very caring and non commenting way - and it was only to comfort myself that the rest of the world mirrors my tummys gastronomically enhanced elastic propensity (is that called Hyperbole? )

Your fixation on my small comment is the engine that drives a diet industry that employs millions of people (think jobs, mortages, families etc.) We all have a responsibility to humanity to fixate, diet and then put the weight on again in a never ending cycle, to protect jobs and stop children starving.


"Is it good for your muscles if you use them to suck in a Christmas tummy, hence do the ends justify the means?" --- Ah see you are not just a clever artist are you, I know this because your question is cunningly rhetorical. You really do understand the hidden cosmic logic in all of this. Boy I wouldn't want to be a Morman knocking on your door. You would have me tied up philosophically before I could say 'granny knot'

"Can the previous statement be used as a good reason to overeat at Christmas?" --- Any reason you may think you have in this instance is overtaken by compulsion. The truth behind our relationship with food is a dietry paradox i.e. We are all on a Cosmic Sea Food Diet - you know - See Food and EAT IT - don't even THINK about controlling the Universe, you can't!

"And one for our friends in the north: How does the snow-plough operator get to work?" --- Well the fact is she never goes home. The snow plough operator sleeps on top of an engine that is never turned off - it's the warmest place in the whole of Europe.

Phew! you asked a lot of questions Katherine - good ones though - I feel theologically and philosphically transported to a new level.

teach5 said...

Katherine, on their Skidoo (snowmobile) of course! Either that or they sleep in their plows.

Anonymous said...

I think it best to go a question at a time. Question --> Answer --> Question --> etc.

Personally, I just take life a step at a time.

Alden Smith said...

Such a good theory Anonymous. I feel you need to expand on it though :-)