Sunday, March 15, 2009

Hindsight

From a poem about Parenting found on the web.

If I had my children to raise all over again, I'd finger-paint more, and point the fingers less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I would care to know less and know to care more. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging. I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I would be firm less often, and affirm much more. I'd teach less about the love of power, And more about the power of love.
.

7 comments:

Delwyn said...

It is a shame that we don't get a second round isn't it?
But then again maybe we do??

I am sure that although you may wish to have done some things differently you did a very fine job...

Imagine if we had to learn how to be a parent then put it all into practice - we'd be ancient and couldn't run and play with the kids.

Being a mother the last time at nearly 40 was very different to being a young mum of 25 and I suppose I did get the chance to learn from my early mistakes. I was much more relaxed, didn't care so much about schedules and bedtime...and really enjoyed my time with her.

How many kids want to pose with their parent? Altho your daughter's body language may suggest she wasn't in the mood...

Dan Gurney said...

Very nice poem. Do you mind if I post it up on Mr. Kindergarten, linking back to your blog?

This feeling arises when your kids are grown and you have the luxury of looking back. It must be a nearly universal feeling, and may explain why grandparents are often more quick to forgive and be generous towards their grandkids.

Katherine said...

A nice reminder of this poem. Thanks Alden.
Gorgeous pic of you and your darlings.

Alden said...

I think it's all about attitude and intention isn't it - We all intend to do a good job but often other things get in the way and quite a big part of that is us attending to our own need to grow up -

If I get the chance to create a world I will make it that woman need to be at least 55 before they can become pregnant and men will need to be at least the same age to take on fatherhood - that should provide the right sort of experience.

Alden said...

Dan I don't mind at all you using the poem - its not mine anyway - got it off the internet.

You are correct about looking back - the luxury of looking back -hindsight is a great thing.

Given that hindsight all of us probably would have made different choices, but those choices in themselves would have created their own set of problems, so hindsights not going out of fashion any time soon.

Alden said...

Thankyou Katherine - it is a nice photo - I think I should get that one framed. :-)

Kathryn said...

Alden, I'm sure you have done a great job of raising your children. They look pretty happy.

But I know what you mean because I feel the same way about my children.

You get a second chance to be more patient and tolerant and loving when the grand-children come along. I am loving being a Grandma :-)
And my children have commented on the difference.